MOSS | Rone vs TheSaurus
Rone vs TheSaurus took place at King of the Dot's inaugural Back 2 Basics battle event April 18, 2015.
HOW TO SCORE RAP WITH MOSS:
Give a score between 1 and 10 (decimals are ok) to each rhyme pod as you watch the battle - remember that you're scoring the entire pod, all lines of rap, not just the payoff lines.
Send your final score to @skipmacintyre to have your score tallied.
Rone | ||||||
TheSaurus |
Rone Round 1 | Score (/10) |
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Word to my fuckin American flag tube socks. | |
If I catch you on the rooftop, you gettin Billy Boondocks'ed. |
I'll pick up where I left off with Big T. Cuz you're my bro for real. | |
Dog you will never know the joy of running through an open field. |
You used to be skinny. Now you've got tits and a belly as well; | |
All of those extra helpings but you really weren't helping yourself. |
You are so hungry. His favorite part of sex is eating ass. | |
Fuck a thousand reps, he's out of breath by the time that the beans are passed. | |
Some ham comes steaming past, you should see the way he react, | |
breathin fast like he completed a 800 meter dash, | |
he would gas, sweat beading, he eats or he's seizing fast, | |
sweaty wrists, feeble hands, all he is is a meaty slab, | |
sponge bath? They gon' squeegee that; Buffet? It's an easy pass, | |
and if you don't like fat jokes, well then fuckin stop being fat. |
But Pete's a role model, and a G for sho. | |
But when I just said "Pete's-a roll model", all he heard was pizza roll. |
If I think serial rape, I think one of the girls that Cosby has fucked. | |
If you think cereal rape, you're finishing a Lucky Charms box all at once. | |
If I think, my Woman Crush Wednesday, well, she's especially thick. | |
Your Woman Crush Wednesday is any Wednesday that you have sex with a chick. |
But we both like sports.. Both count it as a hobby. | |
Some of enjoy playing sports.. Some just enjoy watching. | |
Bro if you and I play sports, you would bomb like Nagasaki. | |
You get out of breath after a game of tonsil hockey. | |
You would get a concussion playing Fantasy Football. | |
You would tear your ACL playing beer pong - that's not a good look, dog. |
We at odds like it's Vegas? Well I would be the favorite. | |
Mariota vs Jameis, Tom Brady versus Peyton. | |
The star will get ate(8), so that makes him Troy Aikman. | |
I'll salute him, then put his ass a mile high - Terrell Davis. | |
I'll go shots to your temple, bro, fuck what this Mark Macon. | |
I'll put you on the sideline, chillin' with Nick Saban. | |
By now, bro you light off the top, that's Chris Kaman, | |
I'm the way Ray is with the Ravens or the Bears with Walter Peyton. |
But you love talking through people's rounds. So you can't compare me to son. | |
It's funny you love sports, but you're a terrible one. |
You have no basic rhythm. Your concepts are just forgetful. | |
So how can we go back to basics if you don't know fundamentals? |
You have the most copied style. I've researched, it's true. | |
But if a million people can copy it.. that means it's easy to do. | |
I mean you wish you could say you fathered me. | |
He wants me sisters with his daughter, he's weird, it's startin to bother me, | |
he called my pops about adopting me. | |
But I could boss you up up in your own house pussy. | |
You only had a daughter for the girl scout cookies. | |
So I don't give a fuck if you are one cool dad, | |
for me and your daughter, hey, fuck you, man. |
Thesaurus Round 1 | Score (/10) |
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This is how quick I'ma beat ya. | |
That was crazy how you went from a vocal impression of Bart then switched into Lisa. |
Now I can promise y'all, in the worst way, he'll for sure hate my approach. | |
I can outwrite everything that this nerd say, and our wordplay isn't close. | |
I could punch him until he needs first aid, or shit could turn straight to a roast, | |
either way, this is gonna be the worst rape, since you were first raped, by your coach. |
Last chance to bet on me if you ain't put your money up yet, | |
I'll wipe the Prince(prints) off of the scene, and they ain't found a bloody glove yet. | |
The shit about you, Penn State, Sandusky? All pretty fuckin suspect, | |
but I won't talk about you being molested. ..It's a really touchy subject. |
You're softer than a sunset. You're in over your head, Roney; | |
Philly folk, start spilling 40-O's for your dead homie. | |
You best show me respect owed or I'm exploding | |
in the House of Gods, bless Rone's soul, he'll get left holy. |
That's irony. Like a right from me leave his eye runny. | |
Get fried, but I'll crack somethin on the side, Sonny. | |
I heard it from the grapevine up in wine country | |
that he might take a stage dive for the prize money. |
Now speakin of stage dives... | |
Let's talk about that Daylyt shit for a second. | |
You wanted to use a gimmick against him; he had different intentions, | |
but thinkin a Abe Lincoln impression would win shit against him? | |
That's the biggest bitch cop out since Olivia Benson. |
He said he has a URL battle. ..But ain't nobody saw the shit. | |
So if KOTD's vaultin this, I think we know whose fault it is. | |
Yours. You gave it the old college try, now call it quits, | |
he balled his fist and tried to throw, I caught the pitch like Carlton Fisk. |
Roney, this'll be your worst night ever. | |
Every line, every word I render. Do a worldwide web search, | |
name someone he's been served by better. | |
People barely show on this bitch like the first trimester. |
Now... Have I mentioned how Sandusky molested you yet? | |
You're like his Jefferson Price. Hashtag #neverforget. | |
Now, I'm not saying he did the shit, and I'm not saying he's innocent, | |
I'm just saying, we can't judge Rone on several thousand isolated incidents. |
Rone Round 2 | Score (/10) |
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I'm Brian Bosworth; do you like Okwerdz. | |
Grind them gears, watch we put (h)our hands to his face like clockwork. | |
You get hit and run just for fun like Dante Stallworth, | |
or you could catch the fade: corner route to Lance Alworth. |
We could throw, like Brad Penny or Chad Henne. | |
You could catch the bam a lam like "Black Betty", | |
get served at any time of the day like you at Denny's, | |
I'm the fastest Italian since Mario Andretti. |
But you the type to fall in love with a whore named Cinnamon. | |
Whore, Thesaurus, ain't that a synonym of a girl that'll sin on him? | |
So I guess that makes me his antonym, | |
but they barely feel you like there's an ant in 'im; | |
You sound like a fag; you put the homo in homonym, | |
WRC shit, to homi him I'll sick Hom on 'im, |
Dog, you look like you jerk off a ton! | |
Just like.. playin poker, watchin a bunch of battles, | |
you have to be jerking off all the time! | |
I don't have a punchline, just, we know, okay? |
And here's another fact to make you think your whole life over: | |
you moved to Las Vegas.. to play online poker. | |
Bro, you could play online poker anywhere, from Peru to the Bronx. | |
So you chasin that dream, well that's an unusual thought, | |
but I think I know the real reason for you movin your plot - | |
You went cuz prostitution is legal, and you were due to get caught. |
Fact or fiction? Your life is a series of bad decisions, | |
and now you can't get women but you blame your metabolism, | |
and in that condition losin weight's like crackin an algorithm, | |
cuz you couldn't so restraint if you were into masochism. |
All stuck in a market(?), in your musty apartment, | |
dusty and dark with the fuckin musk of an armpit, | |
overrunning with garbage, blunt guts are discarded, | |
fuckin pizza crusts on the carpet, it screams "struggling artist", |
All lazy, all day he just pushes a rolling chair; | |
the only danger he ever faces is when he gets close to stairs. | |
Wearing tighty whiteys, the holey pair, and a bathrobe as overwear, | |
your girl wear the same drawers Oprah wear with the weight, waist and face of a polar bear. |
All you do is send tweets as you go through your day. | |
Oh good. Let's hear more about the poker you play. | |
When you break up with a girl, when a new one opens her legs, | |
as you have breakfast, lunch, dinner, and then both of your cakes. |
But, I mean, when I call myself a slob, it's self-deprecating. There's some tact with it. | |
When you call yourself a slob, it is disgustingly accurate. |
Fuck battle shit, the only time that he's an innovator | |
is when he taught his dog to fetch a beer from the refrigerator. |
Is there a minute of your day that you're not looking at a screen? | |
Do you have bread, cheese, and meat with every meal that you eat? | |
Do you claim you're (slip) crushing life and that you're living a dream | |
when you're just a sweaty stereotype who's just obese and obscene? | |
See I stand for the U.S. and all that's great about us, | |
but you represent everything the world hates about us. |
Thesaurus Round 2 | Score (/10) |
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Me being what everyone hates might be true, fool, | |
But at least I don't (slip) | |
remind everybody I'm a white skinny American every 5 seconds like you do. |
I wouldn't say this if it wasn't true. | |
There's multiple people in this fuckin room who've ducked this dude, | |
that thought it would be more important to come to this event | |
than to battles that they'd booked with you. |
But you wanna be that next artist KOTD will push hardest, | |
he from Philly, but his whole look started in Good Charlotte. | |
You cursed. Basically every battle you book's garbage, | |
cuz they keep hangin bud out to dry like a kush harvest. |
Look, dog, we've all had opponents that ducked, | |
but it's gettin to your head, and now Roney's gassed up. | |
Fuck it, I'ma add to your stroke of bad luck. | |
They finally got a real test tossed at Rone, now man up. |
No weddings, no snow storms, no pathetic excuses. | |
No holds barred, no more respect for these new kids. | |
Nowadays, an up-and-comer testa a legend and loses, | |
and thinks he's seasoned in a day like a Netflix exclusive. |
Not today though, not today, I'm borderline spazzin. | |
So before y'all try actin like this battle is some torch that I'm passin, | |
Watch - a super soaker vers' a .45 Magnum, | |
then see the posterboy gets posterized as Jordan flies past him. |
I will flatline you Roney; this as easy as it gets. | |
A rapper vers' a gimmick that's been beaten half to death. | |
Plain as black and white, he'll hit you with some cheesy ass effects, | |
right off the Bat, man that's exactly why they bringin Adam West. |
But can Adam test me? Can this nerd stand the pressure? | |
Well that's a long shot, like the Birdman director. |
Homie when people see me they get excited like Santa Clause is coming. | |
When they see you, they're like "Oh look, it's the Daniel Tosh of nothing." |
Rone Round 3 | Score (/10) |
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So you call yourself the two time champ. And I like it, it's great. | |
I won the spirit award in high school tennis twice, so I can relate. | |
But "Mr. Two Time Everything"? Is that right? | |
So, the presidency? The Super Bowl, did you win that twice? |
Oh, oh, you won two things two times. So you're the four-time champ. | |
Well I'm the prince of 16s, so I'm four times that. | |
Fuck your war cries; I'll wash em. Where the flouride at? | |
With your fuckin rawhide face, man I'll pork rind that. |
If I want your girl, I'll take your girl. Cuz that's just how she want it, | |
and I'm makin a de-posit right in her meat wallet; | |
he wears his rap championship rings when he's tryin to be brawlic, | |
but it's no problem to steal your rings, I already done beat Sonic. |
Dog, I could make you a better better, but I have lessons as well, | |
gambling is an addiction, so it's time we get him some help. |
I have seen the girls you've fucked. Let's just say that you've had better. | |
Your range starts at fat heffer, and spans to transgender. | |
One looked just like you. I swear she was your fan member, | |
but it's no shock that a gambler has a terrible track record. |
You're like a substance abuser the way you mortgage your future, | |
yo Organik, show me a gambler and I'll show you a loser. |
Bro, even look at your battle career, because it shows that you're shit, | |
cuz if you were a good gambler, you would know when to quit. |
You love to bet on yourself, like it's a game in your mind. | |
So I made up my own odds for you, on the ways that you'll die. | |
So heart attack? Two to one, that one was easy. | |
Ten to one? He goes to KFC and he chokes on a (slip) fuckin three-piece, | |
a hundred to one, he fuckin dies of lung cancer cuz he's been smokin like Cheef Keef, | |
a thousand to one, he has a stroke.. of genius, and shoots right through these teeth, | |
half a million to one, he dies exhausted, fuckin hookers on repeat, | |
a million to one, he dies retired on a yacht out at deep sea, | |
a billion to one, he's trampled by fans wantin CDs, | |
or a trillion to one, he died of shock cuz he actually beat me. |
My graveyard's riddled with tyrants, watch me belittle goliaths, | |
how many giants I gotta kill before I'll considered a giant? |
The dun-dudda, god body, John Gotti with the wrench. | |
The West vers' everybody? How bout me vers' everybody on the West? | |
Who I beat? Bro, anybody in Cali or from Cali, I put em down in order. | |
Who I beat, and who's left, well the second list is shorter. | |
I turned Caustic into a personal information hoarder; | |
I made 360 one-eighty, sent him running across the border; | |
I turned Fredo to a angel, put that Baby in his corner; | |
I turned Okwerdz to a blogger, made him lose all his supporters; | |
I got Day laid out like it was frickin brick and mortar, | |
I turned Dirtbag Dan to a sideline reporter. | |
I would call out Dumb and Diz, but I'm not holdin my breath. | |
But shit, I think that they might be the only ones left. | |
See I get rowdy in the ring, I put a bounty on that thing, | |
they call me Roney Bae the Prince, but out in Cali I'm the king. |
Thesaurus Round 3 | Score (/10) |
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Lemme address that shit you little weak ass bitch - | |
I got two homies that you'll immediately lose a rematch with. | |
And here's the other (stumble) part that wasn't fully complete with me, | |
you mentioend all the West Coast battlers you beat but somehow mentioned 360. |
Who remembers when Rone said, "what I gotta do now to get love up on the stage? | |
Pull my dick out or punch someone in the face? | |
Nah, I'll just be me, cuz that's all it fuckin takes." | |
Or, a month later, I'll dress up like Honest Abe, | |
watch my opponent jump off the fuckin stage, | |
and I'll just stand there in a tophat lookin' like some sucka who got played. |
But is Rone the #1 contender for the chain? ..I suppose. | |
But if he's the guy you chose, it was probably only.. by a nose. |
I dunno what Adam meant by great, but I'm adamant I'm greater. | |
This is like comparin Canibus to Drake, or analysts to players. | |
There's a major gap between us, and see that's the difference maker. | |
Some people say we're in the same class.. but so were Shaq and Christian Laettner. |
Bitch you majored in Journalism. But nothing's happened yet, | |
except your mom and dad just split cuz they're a hundred grand in debt. | |
I got a Master's in the same field, cuz I learned how to hit paydirt. | |
I took off-the-head lines and turned em into paper. That's a Journalism major. |
Make your best shot, Prince, don't keep the king waiting. | |
I'll turn Adam to a bitch from a freakin rib breaking. | |
Every shot I land see my ego inflating. | |
It ain't even spring training and you see my swing changing. |
Now everybody live tweeting, I want you take this down. | |
Rone's softer than a Charlie Clips name flip round. | |
Rone's softer than Charron's birthday cake is. | |
Rone's soft as being friends with strippers on a first name basis. |
I hate to say it homie, but you got no identity. | |
White and skinny the only things that stand out to you specially. | |
So instead of spending three months doing your homework prep for me, | |
you could've looked in the mirror once and saw your Rone worst enemy. |
And I'm not saying I don't the know the difference between two genders, | |
but how come he 'n Bruce Jenner 've never been seen together? |
Current Averages from Scores Submitted:
TheSaurus 6.67 Points/Bar - Rone 6.36 Points/Bar